If the Royal Order of Old Rich White Men see fit, Los Angeles soon may go from a professional football desert to a two-team paradise.
These owners have to power to move teams about like Parcheesi pieces, while wiping their feet on the very powerful civic emotions that these franchises inspire. And all they do as a result is get richer, pocketing the relocation fee, pulling in a half a billion without even have to stand in line for a Powerball ticket.
“Feckless thugs in business suits,” one St. Louis columnist labeled the NFL owners. The outrage is just a little comical considering that the Rams were not exactly original to the Gateway City.
Think how great it will be for L.A. if either the Chargers or Raiders join the Rams. What a bounty of riches it would be to have a back-up team, something to fall back on in case of emergency. Just as all those Lakers fans can now switch into their Clippers wear, the football folk of L.A. can enjoy the versatility of the reversible football jersey.
Come to think of it, wouldn’t it be nice to have a spare team in Atlanta, seeing how this Falcons thing has gone 50 years without producing a single championship parade?
Failing to build a winner the slow, tortuous way, it may be time to import.
OK, we don’t want the Cincinnati Bengals – or really anyone from the AFC North. Atlanta has enough senseless violence without going out and buying some more.
Don’t want the Raiders, regardless of how much they seek escape from Oakland. Their fans make Freddy Krueger look like the Dalai Lama.
We’d take the Patriots, I guess, but there’s some baggage they’d have to leave in New England. And Gisele Bundchen must relocate.
How about the Packers? It was kind of cute and kitschy to have a pro football team in a permafrost trading post for 90 years or so. But isn’t time they move into town?
But first on my list is the Kansas City Chiefs. They seem an up-and-coming outfit, a hot playoff team that is benefiting from Andy Reid’s large presence.
The name would fit right in, summoning memories of the Atlanta Chiefs soccer team of the 1960s and ‘70s. Offensive Native American nicknames seem to suit us.
And Missouri has proven such fertile ground for plunder.
Somebody make this happen.
And we’ll take their baseball team, too. We’re going to have a spare stadium soon.